if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize