I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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