Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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