why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
