I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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