Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm passing your future prison.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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