Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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