White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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