I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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