So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My penis needs a shock collar
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