Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
