This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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