eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
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Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
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who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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