"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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