So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
