i think my mom watched the whole time
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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