sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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