i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
