hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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