i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
