I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
