I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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