i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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