ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
