he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
