Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
And then he peed in my hair
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