one word: firstdatebathroomanal
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...