just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!