Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.