she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize