Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
