I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
