when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
