just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
