I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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