I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
