"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
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only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize