my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
