yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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