Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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