I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Congratulations! We have a period
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