Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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