I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
