my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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