tell your sister to shave her snatch
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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