hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize