Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
