3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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