i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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