if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
