Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i think i just naturally attract stoners
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
