My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
