im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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