Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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