I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
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i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
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