It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
