Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
