do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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