just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
