I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
