my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I need a burrito and a hug.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
