you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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