Is it normal to miss your booty call?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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