I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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