woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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